We know the story: ceremony, breakfast, evening reception, rinse and repeat. For couples looking to do something a little different, this structure can be somewhat restrictive. However, it doesn’t have to be like that. If you’re not too fussed about hosting a wedding reception or have absolutely no intention of going through the stress of planning one, you’ve come to the right place.
Your wedding is you and your partner’s day, and it can be exactly as you want it. It’s easy to get swept up in the conformity of having a ceremony followed by a big bash. Not only can this be a little overwhelming to organize, but can also be superbly expensive!
1. First, consider not having a big wedding reception at all — and saving the money instead
Seriously. I’ve seen people drop six figures on a dream wedding, only to file for a divorce before even getting their wedding album back. And yeah, it takes a while to get a custom-made leather-bound wedding album shipped to you door, but I would assume that marriages should last more than a month even to-death-do-us-part.
After watching the perpetual circus of “my party was way better/more expensive/had a better mashed potato bar than yours,” You start to fantasize about what You would do with all that money instead of having an expensive wedding. Why not just get married in the church and have the reception to only invited few mainly major family members, officiating ministers, choir members et al? Or an abandoned building and pretend you’re in an episode of Walking Dead?
There’s so many other things you can do with those fancy wedding dollars — like buy a car, or have a down payment on a house, or take that trip to Iceland. Me, I’d probably buy a lot of assets.
2. Always remember: It will be over soon.
One of my jobs as an assistant was to “hide” behind the Happy Couple with a spotlight, thus creating a nice “glow” for the photographer in front of them. This is where I heard a lot of interesting conversations between the bride and the groom, all the while wishing I’d done more leg exercises to improve my squatting stamina.
The things I’ve heard while kneeling behind the wedding party is a continuum, where depressing and exasperated are on opposing ends. Towards the end, everyone is tired and grumpy and “so glad it’s over.” But I tried to offer up a little perspective for them — a light at the end of the “congratulations!!” tunnel: it’s almost over, so get all the hugs you can, because those people probably bought you a Tiffany-blue stand mixer that you get to open later. Plus, leftovers. Get a to-go box on your way to the hotel. You’ll thank me later.
Oh, and in case you were curious, I do have a girlfriend. But let me just say, if I ever proposes (and she say Yes — you never know), I’m getting hitched somewhere weird, We’ll serve coffee and a cake shaped like a fox, and she is wearing flip-flops. You’re invited.
3. Do you legally need a reception?
THERE IS NO LAW THAT SAID YOU MUST DO RECEPTION AFTER WEDDING
Think of a reception, including food, music and entertainment, as an after-party. Once you leave your ceremony, you are legally married. Because of this, there are no laws regarding what you can and cannot include. As a result, you certainly are able to skip out on the reception altogether!
You cannot be more married than someone without reception. so why waste time and money. Lots of single ladies are not married mainly because of this reasons, they wants to do reception which the man in question is not flamboyant enough to do. Ladies advice your man to forget reception and get married to the choicest man of your life before you age. Menopause is at the door knocking and are your planning to raise children at old age?
4. Help Your Guys Overcome The Fear Of Getting Married.
Guys that wants to get married are many. In fact, unlike ladies. I have yet to meet a guy that does not want to get married. There is something in a man that makes him tie raising a family to being responsible. The problem is, while guys that want to get married are plenty only few feel they are ready to get married.
This is basically because of the current economic situation and the traditional programming that it is the responsibility of the man to provide instead of the parents (the man and the wife) to provide which is what aligns with scriptures. From the look of things, I predict that if things continue this way, in the text five to ten years, the average age of guys getting married will be 40. And that poses a serious problem for ladies.
unlike a 26-year-old getting married to a year a 24-year-old lady, by the time a 40-year-old man is getting married, he is not getting married to a 38-year-old lady. He is still aiming for a lady that is between 26 and 30 years old.
If that becomes the case, what happens to those ladies between 27 and 40? For no fault of theirs, they remain single. No thanks to be cultures where it is the man who does the asking. The lady has no choice than to wait to be asked.
Is it possible to do something about this? I believe there is. we need to operate in a new paradigm. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
5. Consider Mass Wedding As An Option
Mass wedding is a wedding that is conducted in religion setting where the Priest, Pastor or Imam in a church, mosque,or Traditional Ruler set a particular day to marry several couples at the same time. Mass wedding held in South Korea. About 3,000 couples from around the world have taken part in a mass wedding at the South Korean headquarters of the controversial Unification Church. The Church’s mass weddings – which take place regularly – began in the 1960s.
There is need for one who does not have money to consider this. Mass wedding does not only including people who are co-habiting. If you are leaving together with your lover and you have a child or Children your church may organize a mass wedding for persons of this category and a reception may not be needed.
Men have ego and we sometimes want to be alpha and omega meanwhile the bank account does not align with the alpha and omega status we want to protect. Let him know that you recognize that he wants to make everything as comfortable as possible before getting married but he does need to have everything now.
6. Minimize Wedding Expenses By Doing The Trad Same Day.
Especially when it comes to the traditional aspects. Many things on the list can be struck off. The lady only need to have a sincere talk with her parents for renegotiation. You can minimize expenses by having your traditional same day with your white wedding. This is what some people are doing to minimize cost, why feed same people twice when you can feed them once? Why rent hall, MC, Photographer, etc. twice when it would be done once? Why?
Okay you have to have a white wedding separate from the traditional, then keep traditional as small as possible. My sister’s traditional wedding was done in the sitting room. Only the key members of both families were present. It saved her some money.
If you are bold enough, do traditional as small as possible and go for registry (marriage according to the acts). The truth is that even the white wedding is conducted in the church is just an extension of the wedding according to the acts. It is the certificate from the marriage registry that is issued by the church. The only difference is that you have a lot more mouths to feed.